Courageous Confidence

Recently, I had a girls’ soccer coach reach out to me from a school in San Francisco. She

was looking for guidance on how to keep her players of various skill levels engaged in a season that was already laden with numerous losses. They were outmatched in their league and players were starting to lose interest in practicing or even getting playing time in games. The leaders were discouraged, and the players were afraid. The coach had already used all her knowledge about setting short term measurable goals and coaching positive attitudes, but the players continued to struggle.

This is not the experience we want for our youth sports players. It's not that we need to prevent teens from having losing seasons...we can't do that. What we need is to equip our developing athletes and humans with the tools to cope. These players were afraid and hopeless and didn’t have the tools to be resilient. Can we blame them? Many adults in professional roles across America are also dealing with feeling afraid and hopeless.

What these players need is not another pep talk about mental toughness or a toolkit to “unlock their potential” They need to learn that their fear is starting to take over their minds and bodies. And when fear takes over, our bodies shut down. I decided to customize a team lesson for them on how to access courage in the face of adversity and a season that feels hopeless. It takes incredible courage to show up and to simply decide to take on a posture of strength--to step on a field and stand tall, shoulders back, heart open--when you know that the other team has a much better record than you.

It takes courage to tolerate discomfort in the body. It takes courage to choose words of affirmation for our teammates when the entire team is swirling in negativity. Using imagery from national team women’s soccer players who have stood tall amidst incredibly hostile environments, I sought to inspire them to access a deeper, more vulnerable, yet courageous part of themselves.

Sports have the power to break us down or teach us incredible courage. The latter does not happen automatically. It happens with intentional coaching and seeking out meaningful lessons in sport. This particular coach was deeply attuned to her players and knew they needed some support. Not necessarily because they wanted to be division one athletes or champions, but because one day they will be staring down a board room, or performing a critical surgery on a patient, or standing up for what they believe in. And what they need to learn is to embody courage in the face of discomfort.